Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
