For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
