goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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