I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize