Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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