so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Two words: nipple clamps
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