Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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