So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
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