Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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