About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
