If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize