i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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