You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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