He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
