bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
