yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
