im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think my vagina is haunted
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
