Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
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