Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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