tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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