What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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