Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize