Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
