Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
