So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
third nipple confirmed
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
