don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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