dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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