I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
