Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
