Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
