They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
