So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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