Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
