Will you blow on my dice?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
