She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
