Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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