So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
