gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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