I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
