We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
