I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You work out of a Hotel?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
