Banned from zoo.
Again?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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