we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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