dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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