people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
