God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
