I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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