I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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