I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He's a Shit stain on my heart
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
