I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
the day after is always just damage control
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
