i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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