I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I stole a fireplace last night.
How external is "for external use only"?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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