I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
