I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
