this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
