Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
