so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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