The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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