I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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