just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize