I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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