we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
