I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
