Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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