how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
too bad you live with your parents still
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
