I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
