do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
