worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
