I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
