Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
