I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
its not stalking. its research.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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