i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
