Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
