The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
