he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
