I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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